Today
I decided to escape my normal, dreary, intellectual existence
where I solve equations and generally be smarter than everyone
else all day for what I call a "No Pants Day".
These days are great because:
A) I
will not be wearing pants.
B) I
will sleep halfway through the day thus catching up with
the 30 something hours of sleep I missed during the previous
week.
C) Can
watch television shows designed for No Pants Day.
Upon
flipping through the channels I came to something nostalgic,
a little show called "America's Funniest Home Videos",
obviously being a show designed for America any readers
from other countries have no idea what I'm talking about,
and are probably slamming a piece of plywood into their
head in a vain attempt to understand what message I am trying
to convey.
What
one from another country must understand is that America's
culture still has not matured past people falling down being
funny. Every single America's Funniest Home Video's episode
can be summed up like so:
1) Man
falling down or getting physically injured in many different
ways.
2) Children
eating food in a very messy way.
3) Animals
doing outrageous stuff that someone who doesn't own a pet
has never seen.
Time
changes many things but one thing all Americans can look
forward to when they wake up is that someone is falling
down and generally causing a ruckus on TV. The ultimate
high point in our day is when we see a combination of someone
feeding their child very messily and then slipping and falling
on their dog who is urinating.
If you're
repulsed by the thought of laughing at such things someone
should tear up your green card and kick you the hell out
of our country. While I have not researched it, it may be
true that there is an equivalent to AFHV in another country,
but somehow the thought of Czech Republics Funniest Home
Videos doesn't appeal to me.
However
one thing has changed with AFHV over the year and that is
it's host. Anyone
who lived through the 80's remembers Bob saget the failure
of a comedian who decided to ruin any chance at a good career
he had with a little show called "Full House".
Clearly a man who starred in a show where every episode
ended with hugging would be a great choice to host a show
dedicated to infants falling onto nails, and by golly it
worked. Bob even went so far as to add his own voices to
the random videos thus increasing laughs and suspicions
that Bob still had not passed Puberty.
While
AFHV isn't what I would call funny, Bob certainly scarred
the world much more with Full House, but in the long-run,
the fact that he ever existed is enough. How someone so
anti-hilarious ever came into a position of fame and fortune
is a mystery to me, once again something baffling about
the 80's.
So what
is the whole point here? Why to educate our foreign brethren
of course. It's important other countries know about other
countries, so we all don't come off sounding crazy. And
this article may have drawn someone in Armenia closer to
America, it may also have angered the 2 Bob saget fans out
there. But no matter how many angry e-mails we receive from
saget fans we can always be happy to know that tomorrow
there will be people falling down on TV.
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