| If
there's one thing I love it's school....er wait...that's
not right. However I am stuck in it for six-something hours
a day so you may as well have a good time. The one class
I can look forward to in my day is a computers class. I
usually create a schedule that allows me to have access
to the internet for at least one period in school.
Now on
a school computer I tend to be a lot more daring. I would
open an e-mail with a 200kb attachment and a subject labelled
"Virus", with pleasure. So when an instant download dealy
pops up I just figure meh, I'll hit enter. And before I
know it there's an installation screen before me.
Now I
had heard things about bonzi Buddie's in the past, the
stories were filled with horror and tales of evil. And so I went ahead and
downloaded it anyways. I figure if I'm trapped in an internet
class where I already know all of the info then what's the
big deal? So a little bouncing gorilla pops up and immediately
begins to dance and say my name in an eerie and robotic
manner. He introduces himself, but what my friend forgets
to tell me is that he is slowly integrating his way into
my hard drive so I can never be rid of him for good. He
is also installing plenty of programs I don't want, need,
or even know the proper language to work them with. Sorry
we can't all speak Frenchinese.
So okay,
I've got a purple gorilla and in two seconds he has already
wasted half of the schools sad 12 GB Hard Drive. And 4 of
those gigs were already taken by some loser who enjoys downloading
ROMS and then trying to figure out why they don't work when
 he doesn't have an emulator. So anyways my purple
gorilla dances for me, over and over again, he also likes
to point out what programs I'm opening. I open Microsoft
Word to type in an assignment and my speakers blare with
a robotic monkey saying. "YOU'RE OPENING MICROSOFT WORD!"
Hooray bonzi buddy was programmed with the average retard
in mind after all. Since we all know it's a serious problem
in the world when people have no idea what programs they're
opening. bonzi Buddy needs some sort of medal to commemorate
noble actions like that.
And so
Class nears it's end and I figure my fun is over. Sure it
was fun listening to Mr.  bonzi say my name in a voice that is not unlike
the terminator's, but now it's time for us to part. So I
go to the uninstall option. And before I know it my delightful
friend is gone, perhaps even forever.
But no!
The next day when I walk into class I see good old bonzi
Buddy staring me in the face. I stare in disbelief and see
that some fool named Andrew figured he'd get a download
in and inadvertantly devote the next year of his life to
trying to figure out how to remove all the crap and trash
bonzi Buddy puts on your computer. Good work Andrew! You
are America's greatest retard. Maybe bonzi Buddy will run
your ROMS. |
