Yesterday
my high school made me take a reading test. I find this
an interesting course of action to just pull a reading test
out of their asses and give it to me. My whole class took
it naturally, but the kicker is, I graduate in 3 months,
and it is just now in my 12 years of schooling that they
have deemed it necessary to find out whether or not I can
read.
Who
the hell needs to read anyway? I can think of plenty of
successful people who I am absolutely positive can not read,
Rosie O'Donnel for instance, if she could read her own magazine
it never would have existed.
What
I love here is the content of the test. I'm not even completely
sure the school is aware what they're making us read. The
questions are formulated something like this:
The
roses are thorny.
I prick myself, but blood will not spill.
Instead there is only love.
I am like a river, always flowing.
Then
come the fantastic questions:
The roses could be related to:
A) War
B) Carnations
C) The authors personal feelings.
D) Anything in the whole damn world.
E) Even a puppy.
Honestly,
poetry is subjective, how can there be a right answer when
it means so many things? Frankly I had a great desire to
cross out the whole test and write, "I CNT REED!!!;"
note the improperly used semi-colon (for good measure).
Illiteracy
must be more and more common in America. The great thing
about it though is we can talk about the illiterate as much
as we want through writing. But if in 12 years some child
had somehow not learned to read, and somehow gotten through
every english class without fail then by god he's either
smart or good looking enough for it not to matter.
It's
nice to know that all my families hard earned tax money
is going into finding out which people in our society are
the idiots. Frankly I think it's the ones giving the test.
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