Having
nothing interesting on TV the other day I turned on the
news, which aside from  boring
me with trivial things like arson and Michael Jackson, said
something rather interesting about the economy. Apparently
it's not doing so hot. Now being as political savvy as I
am, it was only natural I attempt to do my part to solve
the problem.
The
problem seems to arise in the fact that, America needs money,
a serious problem with no clear/practical solution. That's
why it's important we do one of 2 things:
Attack
Canada and take their gold.
Or,
Attack The Ancient City Of Dwarves.
Now
it's common knowledge that Canada has no wealth or value,
aside from their surprisingly large quantities of Moose,
so it's only natural that we make the city of Dwarves our
target, it's also common knowledge that the cute little
creatures are chock full of rich golden goodness. Any Dungeons
And Dragons kid will be able to tell you that Dwarves are
always wealthy and generally have pointy hats adding +4
Dexterity. Simple gibberish to us normal folk, but the wealth
part shines through. So now to the battle plan.
Now
that the general idea of raping and pillaging the Village
is established, it becomes necessary for a more organized
battle plan. Dwarves are a generally peaceful, clean, and
industrious people, much like the people of Honduras. But
unlike the people of Honduras Dwarves are known to spring
into violence at any given moment. Because of this it is
important that we strike quickly, it would be best to do
such during their annual happy dance ritual, or whatever
it is the Dwarves do to celebrate their delightful pointy
hats.
So dance
your little pointed shoes off Dwarves, soon America will
come for you all and we'll be filthy rich. Remember, just
because the seven Dwarves didn't decapitate Snow White doesn't
mean they'll spare you.
This
article is dedicated to the shockingly large number of Snow
White and the 7 Dwarves gang-bang pictures I ran into while
searching Google for simple dwarves. Congratulations to
everyone who can't restrain themselves from being aroused
by Disney characters.
|
