Hazard #1 - Final Fantasy VII

Some say a boy's mind is the most fragile thing in the world. You need to keep your kids away from this game. It will suck away 40 hours of their life and leave them with nothing more than a depressed feeling and pixelated materia. Yipee. Symptoms showing your child has been playing Final Fantasy VII may include him shutting down your water heater and screaming about Mako. Or perhaps he'll start attacking every guy who carries an 8 foot long sword and wears a black trenchcoat all the while yelling something about avenging Aerith. Beware...

Hazard #2 - Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3

In a world where todays youngsters aren't "cool" if they don't do what they see on TV you should always watch out for your kids. If you find them delving into skateboarding it's not a big deal. If you find them learning to skateboard and a copy of Tony Hawk 3 under their bed you're in trouble. Sure the game seems harmless but when your child begins to watch Tony Hawk drop from 3 stories and land all the while standing on his head it's only natural your child must learn how to do this too. There was a report of a woman who found her child trying to skateboard using a surfboard. It was automatically assumed that the child had seen Kelly Slater (that surfer guy who gueststars in Tony Hawk) grind the top of a movie theater. It didn't matter much because the child was hit by a fire truck as soon as he realized his surfboard didn't roll.

Hazard #3 - Superman

Not only is THE superman game dangerous but anything even remotely related to him is dangerous. Your child will watch Superman break through walls with his bare hands and then cut themselves to pieces when they try to do the same to the brick wall outside your house. If your kids are going to play this game it's best to rap them completely in bubble tape and prepare to sue DC Comics for all they've got.

Hazard #4 - Sonic The Hedgehog

Everyone loves Sonic. He curls up into a little ball and rolls. Although it is unproven that rolling into a ball and trying to break through walls and find golden rings in real life is dangerous you should be careful nonetheless. If you're child starts talking to his invisible flying fox friend it may be time for you to inject him with sleeping liquid and raid his video game collection for this horrible game.