Roller Coaster Tycoon

Mmmm a finer game, I have not seen, fun, exciting, and something that could keep you busy for hours. However the people that inhabit this lovely theme park world ain't too smart. But who can blame them, they're from the 90's and stuck there forever. For example, along my way I decided to build a Shuttle Loop rollercoaster. For those who don't know, a Shuttle Loop fires the car from the station accelerating very fast, and traditionally goes through a loop then up a long stretch of track that goes straight into the air. It then comes back down goes backwards through the loop and back to the station. So I build it, run it a few times, yeah it seems okay.

But alas, it wasn't "Xtreme™" enough for my taste. So instead of setting the launch speed to 30 MPH I jacked it up to a nice smooth 70. Along comes a pedestrian named George, looking for a grand old time, so he decides to ride my rollercoaster, I figure he's had fair warning as the ride is even named The Deathinator so George must have just lost all his money in the stock market or something.

Sure enough George burns up in a beautiful inferno, George's deathwish is fulfilled, you go George! And so the ride closes down because it's dangerous or something. Pfft yeah right I payed MONEY for that, it's reopening, and open it does, quickly attracting visitors and a couple dumbasses who refuse to ride because it's not "safe". I laughed called them pussies and watched as another batch of those loveable rollercoaster bastards died.

The Sims

Everyone likes the Sims. Letting your pointless creations roam around and live life. But these sims aren't always too bright, all they wanna do is dance and not work when you tell them to. Pfft, so finally one day after my sim, Jana decided not to call the maid, she was on her way to the phone and just fell asleep on the floor, what a wimp. I decided I would show her, after her refreshing nap I demanded she cook food for the other disgruntled sims living in the household. But alas, we have no money for food. "No worries." says me, this accompanies a puzzled look by my mother who is watching a tv show on the other side of the room. I promptly deleted the most useless things in the house to earn money. Doors, windows, fire alarms, carpet, and so on. Hooray now Jana can make a delightful treat. Jana throws her creation into the oven, and apparently being the complete dolt she is left like dynamite in the cake or something because it caused the oven to explode in a fiery blaze. Way to go Jana, you total dumbass.